Every libido is a unique fingerprint woven together by a variety of complex factors: interests, fantasies, beliefs, values, morality, physical body, preferences in activities, settings, sensitivity of touch, frequency and type of activity, and on and ON!

With such a broad spectrum, many folks who believe they, or their partner, might be unhealthy or dysfunctional are just DIFFERENT.

So here are a few reasons why mismatched desire is so challenging:

  • it hurts to reject and be rejected
  • it is frustrating to not know what to expect and can build resentment over time
  • both sides are often shamed for certain reasons: the low libido partner is broken and frigid, while the high libido partner is an insensitive sex addict.

So in most healthy happy couples, the foundation of their cake is connection – how strongly bonded you both feel. However, there are always ebbs and flows and challenges in this!

Issues and solutions for connection:

The 2nd biggest layer, where healthy happy couples spend most of their time in terms of behavior is – cuddles and kisses: hugs, rubs, small massages, kisses, pecks, making out, flirtatiousness, and the like.

  • some people like kissing and touch, some people don’t – preferences may be rooted in trauma, beliefs, messages, or simply because they just don’t like it :
  • big takeaway here – IT’S ALL OK. You just need to talk about it and focus on what you DO like. Ask questions, like: Is there anything that could be adjusted that you might like better?
  • If you can’t have this conversation with gentleness and openness – you may need to find a sex therapist to help.

The 3rd and next to smallest layer would be what a lot of people will call foreplay and what most sex therapists will just call sex or outercourse

  • anything from goosing and spanking to manual and oral sex and dirty talk
  • same as above – There are lots of unique preferences here that are ALL OK

The final and SMALLEST layer, where healthy happy couples spend the least amount of intimate behavior, is actual intercourse

  • many healthy happy couples cannot or do not have this at all (intercourse is often limited to young heterosexual couples)
  • this layer is where we encounter the biggest number of problems: physical pain, erections, lubrication, and orgasm difficulties
    • these issues often make sex traumatic. With each encounter, anxiety and avoidance of all intimacy and sexual activity becomes heightened.
      • If you are here, STOP intercourse. Your pain and anxiety are real and need to be addressed. These are all treatable conditions.

So what does the cake with your partner look like?

  • many couples will find their cake is upside down, or that their intimacy is focused solely on intercourse. Whoops! (too bad we can’t talk about sex more, amirite?)

What do you want it to look like?

  • We often focus on how we can’t get everything we need (yup, that’s a tough pill to swallow)
  • Shift the focus on how you can you get (AND GIVE) more of, or enough of, what you (and your partner) need.

Need more help? Have more questions? 

Email me at growwithflo@gmail.com – I specialize in sex and sexuality, as well as empowering sexual vitality after trauma related to relationships, sex, and birth.  Jeff Cockerham, our other therapist at Revitalist specializes in couple’s counseling and can also help!

Candy Olandt

Chief of Staff

My role with Revitalist is one of providing a high level of administrative support, communication and relationship building between our CEO, Staff and other key Stakeholders.

Day to day responsibilities are listed, but not limited to the following:

Support and maintain the CEO’s calendar of events and meetings.

Attend meetings, take notes and disseminate pertinent information accordingly.

Support the CEO with email correspondences.

Support CEO, Executive Team, Lead CRNAs and other key Staff Members in the preparation of weekly staff meetings and communications.

Work closely with the CEO, Executive Team, Lead CRNAs and other key stakeholders to help drive strategic business planning, and support growth initiatives.

Act as a liaison for the CEO with the Lead CRNAs and other key Stakeholders.

Collaborate with CEO, Lead CRNAs, Executive Team and other key Stakeholders to help strategic ideas get off the ground, and provide early facilitation until a more formal project is established.

Act as a trusted advisor and brainstorming partner to the CEO, Executive Team, Lead CRNAs and other key Staff Members.

Proactively address pressing issues by calling them to the attention of the appropriate decision-maker and help to identify potential solutions.

Amanda Deleon

HR Service Coordinator

As the Revitalist human resources (HR) coordinator my professional administrative duties include being a liaison between employees and our benefits vendors and as the corporate resource for the employees.  I facilitate and coordinate with recruitment (hire to retire), maintain employee records, assist with payroll processing and provide administrative support to all employees.

Director of Admin Services at Revitalist

Ashley Brooks

I manage the Revitalist Athena EMR for front desk employees, clinical staff, therapists, and providers. Each clinic is different in its specific needs so I customize our EMR to what is needed to effectively run each clinic. I provide both in-person and virtual Athena training as needed. If any changes are needed for your specific location’s tablespace, please let me know. Email is the best way to reach me. 

Administrative services
Branding Services

I work directly with Fleetwood Photo in Knoxville with all our clinic orders. I order each clinic an initial start-up of items and they will be shipped directly to your clinic. When you are running low please email me your requests. Please allow 3-4 weeks for delivery.

Again, this is what will come in the initial start up order for your clinic, but if you have other specific requests, please let me know. 

Director of Insurance Services at Revitalist

Priscilla Bullock

Courtney Hobby

How May We Help?

Auditor at Revitalist

Jessi Shattuck

Insurance Specialist at Revitalist

Adrienne Worley

How May We Help?

Nicholas Kalynych

Lead CRNA - Jacksonville, Florida

I offer mentorship and guidance for other lead CRNAs as they mature in their role as clinic leads.

Chief Development Officer

  • Provide a conduit to Revitalist corporate as a point-of-contact and liaison for prospective CRNAs and clinic owners
  • Consultation for administrative, operational, and financials in development and hardwiring our corporate infrastructure
  • Guidance structure with policy development
  • Mentorship and resource to clinic lead CRNA
  • Director of Compliance and Risk Management
  • Director of HR
  • Chairperson of the AAP Conference
  • Advisory Board Member

Director of HR

I am responsible for the planning, development, and oversight of the policies, activities, and staff of the Human Resource (HR) department; I act as corporate liaison to CBiz (our corporate partner-benefits provider). Duties as assigned and the following:

  • Plan, direct, and manage all HR initiatives, such as recruitment, compensation, benefits, training, and employee relations.
  • Implement fair employment practices.
  • Advise lead managers and employees and labor policies, such as ADA, FMLA, etc.
  • Helping develop employee engagement, feedback, compliance, and facilitate performance management.
  • Networking with veteran organizations, universities and colleges, behavioral health and anesthesia communities, and other health sectors to facilitate relationships and partnering opportunities.
Director Integrative SVCS at Revitalist

Deana Ferguson

I am responsible for the development and oversight of the behavioral health programs at Revitalist, which includes the following components:

Grant Whitfield

IT Support

If there are any issues with the printer, internet, wireless access, computer/laptop, phone, etc., send an email to Novatech at ticketupdate@novatech.net or call (800) 264-0637 and copy Grant so he can monitor progress.

Security System

If there are any issues with your CPI-managed security system, send an email to Karen Fusaro at kfusaro@cpisecurity.com or call (800) 948-7133 ext. 6250 and copy Grant so he can monitor progress.

Clinic/Maintenance Issues

If there are any issues with your clinic, like plumbing, electrical, HVAC, etc., send an email to Grant, and he’ll contact the landlord to work through who will handle the issue/s. If the issue is not under the landlord’s scope, he will contact an appropriate company to complete the work and introduce the lead CRNA for coordination purposes.

General Liability & Malpractice

If you have any questions about a policy or need help adding an additional insured, etc., send an email to Grant, who will contact Liz Rafferty (erraferty@cbiz.com) and AnneMarie Pirelli (annemarie.pirelli@cbiz.com) to handle the task.

Water Stations

If you have any questions about a policy or need help adding an additional insured, etc., send an email to Grant, who will contact Liz Rafferty (erraferty@cbiz.com) and AnneMarie Pirelli (annemarie.pirelli@cbiz.com) to handle the task.

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